Walking in your purpose

During the last couple of years of my life, I've really began to see just how much my life is not about me. But as I'm beginning to walk in my purpose and following God's plan for my life, I'm starting to see just how true that is. 

This is the beginning of my second week of teaching and in 6 days, I've seen so much that's different from the world I knew when I was in the 8th grade. The things kids say and do, their boldness and audacity is interesting, to say that least. I was "warned" before I started, but I refused to form an opinion of these kids and automatically label them as "bad" just because of other people's opinions of them. I wanted to get to know them for myself. This is my first time teaching and in 6 days, I've learned so much. 

The first thing I've learned is how much I don't know. I like to know everything and I like to always be in the loop. It's a constant battle with myself to remember that it's okay to not know everything. There will always be more to learn. I've also learned that they need me. For some of them, I may be one of the most positive female role models in their life, and that means that I have to be the best me that I can possibly be, not only for myself, but for them. 

Everything that I do affects my students. They are watching my every move. 

They know that the number one rule of my classroom is respect, and although they are still struggling with understanding what exactly respect means, they know that in order to receive respect, it must be given. They also know that there is no profanity in my classroom. On the first day, someone asked me why they couldn't use profanity and I told them that I don't use it, so I don't expect them to use it while they're in my classroom. They were so shocked that I didn't use profanity. So I asked them what the point of it was, and they said, "It helps you to get your point across because some people won't understand what you're trying to say if you don't use it." That's not what I want them to think. I want them to know my classroom is a safe haven and that they can get there point across just as clear without using profanity. 

That's just one of the many things that I've encountered in my first 6 days as a teacher. But I don't think they're bad. Some of them are disrespectful, some of them have anger tucked away, some of them just want to express themselves, but deep down for the most part, they're not bad. So now it's my job to help them discover themselves and just how great they are. I'm not just a science teacher for them. I'm a listener, I'm a supporter, I'm an encourager and so much more. 

At the end of the day, I may be tired, but I'm happy. God has given me this task and I'm more than willing to do whatever it takes to perform to the best of my abilities. I never thought walking in my purpose would be easy, because it is definitely not, but I know that it's more than worth it. 

Love, 

JayCherie

The beginning of a new story

When God blesses us, I believe that He wants us to share our stories so that we can inspire and give hope to others. So here's my story. 

In May 2014 I graduated from North Carolina A&T State University with a BS in Bioengineering and was on my way to Wake Forest University to pursue my PhD in Biomedical Engineering. I was excited and to be honest, now that I look back on it, I was so excited because I got to stay where I was comfortable. The triad area had became my home over the last few years. So to stay in a familiar area around people that I knew was very comforting to me. I always said that God wanted me in Winston for a reason, not really understanding what that reason was. 

Looking back, I believe that God allowed me to stay in a comfortable environment to then make me uncomfortable so that I could grow. 

Almost a year ago to the day, I remember walking into the first day of orientation thinking, "Why in the world am I here? I don't want to be here." But I remember shaking it off because it was an amazing opportunity that most people don't get.  I kept telling myself to push through it and that it would eventually get better. But it never really got better. I thought that the issues I was having outside of school were the reasons why I didn't like it, but in reality, I think God used all aspects of my situation to push me to what He had planned for me. At the time I couldn't see or understand that. 

The first semester I was failing a class (which I have NEVER done), and the professor reached out to my advisor and told him that I wasn't performing well. So my advisor talked to the Dean of the graduate school and I was able to drop the class a week before finals without any penalty (look at God!). After that I thought that I would go into the next semester more focused. My personal life was getting better, so I thought that everything was on the upswing. I went into the second semester very optimistic. Although, I still didn't enjoy the program I was in, I loved research and I figured that I would push through since I'd only have to take classes for another year or so. 

As the second semester went on, my personal life started falling apart, again, I was failing yet another class, and I just wasn't happy. I felt like God was pulling me away from the program. But I didn't understand. In my mind I wasn't prepared for anything other than graduate school. Since my sophomore year, I had it made up in my mind that I was going to graduate school, so I had done research every summer and I only had one industry internship. I didn't feel like I was prepared to go get a job in the "real world". I didn't know what I was going to do.

One day I reached my breaking point. I was so broken down from my personal life and I was just mentally drained from failing a class. My advisor kept blaming my poor performance in one class on me being "inadequately prepared" and I couldn't deal with his lack of support. I was so overwhelmed that I went to his office and told him that I was leaving and all he said to me was, "okay". Okay? I couldn't believe that that was his only response to me telling him I was going to leave. I felt so invaluable. 

The things that have happened over the course of the last year really took a toll on me. I felt very unwanted and at unworthy of almost everything. It felt like everything that I ever wanted and thought that I had was being taken away from me. So me being typical me, I went into "fix-it" mode. I was trying to open up every door that God was closing. I was trying everything to make a way for myself when all I needed to do was rest in God. I didn't like being vulnerable and I didn't like not knowing what the future held. 

I've always had a relationship with God, but I didn't realize how far I was from Him until He started removing everything that was distracting me from Him. I was unintentionally putting things in front of Him and I was getting further away from discovering my purpose. God was always with me, even in my lowest of places. I began to pray and be intentional in my prayers about what I needed and that was simply, I needed to feel God's love. I needed to feel His peace in my life. And that's exactly what He gave me. In the midst of everything around me falling apart, I had never felt more at peace.

God became my everything. 

As the summer went on, I tried to switch to other PhD programs, I applied for many jobs, but nothing was working. I knew God had something for me, but I also knew that "Faith without works is dead", so I kept applying for jobs. August rolled around and I still had nothing. I was preparing to have my parents help me with my bills and using my savings to pay for things until I found a job. I had put in an application earlier in the summer for a teaching position because it is something I was interested in doing, but I didn't think anything of it because I have no teaching experience. But on August 10, I get a call from a local school asking me to come in for an interview the next day. I go in for an interview and at the end, they tell me that they would like me to come teach for them! 

I'm a planner, which can be terrible when strengthening your faith and waiting on God, and I had my whole life planned out. I was going to go get my PhD, maybe get married somewhere along the way, get a job in industry after so I could make "good" money, and then maybe go back and teach one day once I had children. I had my whole life planned out in my eyes, but God  showed me just how easily our plans can change. 

God has taken the story that I had envisioned for my life and began rewriting it. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I am no longer planning out my life. Where God tells me to go, I will go. What God tells me to do, I will do. I have put down my own pen and I'm letting God finish my story for me. 

Everybody has a story, everybody has a journey, and this is just the beginning of the next phase of my journey! 

Love, 

JayCherie

Unfamiliar Territory

When a baby enters the world, it cries. Why? Because it's in a cold, unfamiliar place, with unfamiliar things, and unfamiliar people. For so long the baby was swaddled in and protected by the warmth of it's mother's womb. That was its home, the only thing it has ever known. Now, is that why a baby cries when it's first born, I have no idea, but you all get the point.

When we find ourselves in areas or situations we aren't familiar with, we tend to get uncomfortable because it's new, it's foreign, and y'all know we tend to not like things that are foreign. So because a baby is a baby, and it knows virtually nothing about the new world is has entered, parents are instructed to make the baby as comfortable as possible and nurture and protect it until it can one day fend for itself.

So, who determines when we are able to fend for ourselves? Is it when your parents decide they are tired of doing things for you? Is it when you reach the legal age of adulthood? A mere 18 years old when just a year ago you were fully provided for and didn't have to want for anything? For us fortunate ones, that's not the case, we have families who provide for us until we can do so for ourselves. So, from my experience and observations, the age at which most people start to fend for themselves, occurs when they graduate college. It's not always because they have to, but once you reach a certain age, you want to actually feel like an adult. For the past 4 or 5 years, you've been legally an adult, because the government tells you that at age 18 you are. So why not start acting like it?

What is being an adult? Most parents, or anyone over the age of 40, for that matter, will, without fail, drill into your mind, that you aren't an adult until you pay ALL of your bills. So paying bills makes me an adult? Ehhh, I don't agree with that. I think that being an adult encompasses a plethora of different things, and one of the most important things is being able to cope with changing situations and adapt. So in other words, being able to go into unfamiliar territory and flourish, on your own.

I've been in Illinois for almost 2 weeks now, and let me tell you, it feels like a lifetime. Not to complain, but my job isn't the headline of the news everyday, if you catch my drift. Sometimes it gets so lonely because everybody I work with, is from the area, so they are comfortable with everything here. Everything is familiar to them. For me, everything is foreign. Not only is it a new place, but it's in a different part of the country than I'm used to. And that occasionally makes me feel alone. Initially, it's always exciting to think about going somewhere new. New adventures, new people, new memories. But sometimes when you get to that new place and EVERYTHING is foreign, it can get very overwhelming.

I like to think that I'm on my way to adulthood, being able to be on my own and fend for myself. Now the paying bills thing, I can handle that. But the being completely on my own thing, that's a struggle for me, to be completely honest. Yes, I have the support of my family, friends, and boyfriend, but in reality, I still am on my own. I'm the new girl. The last time I was the new girl, was when I went to the 1st grade. So I think y'all can see where the struggle is. Yesterday, I had a breakdown and was on my way to buying a plane ticket home this weekend because I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to go home and I wanted it then and there. Then I hit a reality check, mainly due to the fact that nobody has $500 dollars for me to fly home for the weekend. In all of this, I learned 2 things. First thing is that running from something, just because I don't like it or I'm uncomfortable about it, isn't going to change it. I still would have to come back to Illinois and I would still be alone and continue with my everyday routine. Second thing, is that I'm learning that I have to be my own best friend. My own traveling companion. My own company. My own happiness. I have to learn to love it and embrace it. The biggest thing I'm learning about being an adult is that at the end of the day, it's you and it's God. Until you get married and have your own family, your adult life is just about you. So instead of constantly running from things that make me uncomfortable, I have to welcome them with open arms, and know that at the end of the day, this part of my life, being just me, myself, and I, it's just temporary.

Always remember, God will never give you more than you can handle! <3