When God blesses us, I believe that He wants us to share our stories so that we can inspire and give hope to others. So here's my story.
In May 2014 I graduated from North Carolina A&T State University with a BS in Bioengineering and was on my way to Wake Forest University to pursue my PhD in Biomedical Engineering. I was excited and to be honest, now that I look back on it, I was so excited because I got to stay where I was comfortable. The triad area had became my home over the last few years. So to stay in a familiar area around people that I knew was very comforting to me. I always said that God wanted me in Winston for a reason, not really understanding what that reason was.
Looking back, I believe that God allowed me to stay in a comfortable environment to then make me uncomfortable so that I could grow.
Almost a year ago to the day, I remember walking into the first day of orientation thinking, "Why in the world am I here? I don't want to be here." But I remember shaking it off because it was an amazing opportunity that most people don't get. I kept telling myself to push through it and that it would eventually get better. But it never really got better. I thought that the issues I was having outside of school were the reasons why I didn't like it, but in reality, I think God used all aspects of my situation to push me to what He had planned for me. At the time I couldn't see or understand that.
The first semester I was failing a class (which I have NEVER done), and the professor reached out to my advisor and told him that I wasn't performing well. So my advisor talked to the Dean of the graduate school and I was able to drop the class a week before finals without any penalty (look at God!). After that I thought that I would go into the next semester more focused. My personal life was getting better, so I thought that everything was on the upswing. I went into the second semester very optimistic. Although, I still didn't enjoy the program I was in, I loved research and I figured that I would push through since I'd only have to take classes for another year or so.
As the second semester went on, my personal life started falling apart, again, I was failing yet another class, and I just wasn't happy. I felt like God was pulling me away from the program. But I didn't understand. In my mind I wasn't prepared for anything other than graduate school. Since my sophomore year, I had it made up in my mind that I was going to graduate school, so I had done research every summer and I only had one industry internship. I didn't feel like I was prepared to go get a job in the "real world". I didn't know what I was going to do.
One day I reached my breaking point. I was so broken down from my personal life and I was just mentally drained from failing a class. My advisor kept blaming my poor performance in one class on me being "inadequately prepared" and I couldn't deal with his lack of support. I was so overwhelmed that I went to his office and told him that I was leaving and all he said to me was, "okay". Okay? I couldn't believe that that was his only response to me telling him I was going to leave. I felt so invaluable.
The things that have happened over the course of the last year really took a toll on me. I felt very unwanted and at unworthy of almost everything. It felt like everything that I ever wanted and thought that I had was being taken away from me. So me being typical me, I went into "fix-it" mode. I was trying to open up every door that God was closing. I was trying everything to make a way for myself when all I needed to do was rest in God. I didn't like being vulnerable and I didn't like not knowing what the future held.
I've always had a relationship with God, but I didn't realize how far I was from Him until He started removing everything that was distracting me from Him. I was unintentionally putting things in front of Him and I was getting further away from discovering my purpose. God was always with me, even in my lowest of places. I began to pray and be intentional in my prayers about what I needed and that was simply, I needed to feel God's love. I needed to feel His peace in my life. And that's exactly what He gave me. In the midst of everything around me falling apart, I had never felt more at peace.
God became my everything.
As the summer went on, I tried to switch to other PhD programs, I applied for many jobs, but nothing was working. I knew God had something for me, but I also knew that "Faith without works is dead", so I kept applying for jobs. August rolled around and I still had nothing. I was preparing to have my parents help me with my bills and using my savings to pay for things until I found a job. I had put in an application earlier in the summer for a teaching position because it is something I was interested in doing, but I didn't think anything of it because I have no teaching experience. But on August 10, I get a call from a local school asking me to come in for an interview the next day. I go in for an interview and at the end, they tell me that they would like me to come teach for them!
I'm a planner, which can be terrible when strengthening your faith and waiting on God, and I had my whole life planned out. I was going to go get my PhD, maybe get married somewhere along the way, get a job in industry after so I could make "good" money, and then maybe go back and teach one day once I had children. I had my whole life planned out in my eyes, but God showed me just how easily our plans can change.
God has taken the story that I had envisioned for my life and began rewriting it. I don't know what the future holds for me, but I am no longer planning out my life. Where God tells me to go, I will go. What God tells me to do, I will do. I have put down my own pen and I'm letting God finish my story for me.
Everybody has a story, everybody has a journey, and this is just the beginning of the next phase of my journey!
Love,
JayCherie
