I always wanted to receive a love that I was never giving. I've realized that at times, I can be very selfish. Unintentionally, I make things all about me. And that's not to say that I shouldn't get what I need, but when in a relationship, it's about what both people need and how you find a way to accomplish getting there. When I would get upset I would fail to find productive ways to handle my anger. I would lash out and I've said things that I wish I never said because, 1) they weren't true, 2) they were hurtful. Now I use the beautiful art of silence. People may not understand it, but I'd rather just not say anything at all than to say something that I can't take back, because words, once they are said, are permanent, whether you meant them or not. I kept records or wrongs, I was distrustful, and so on and so forth. The opposite of what the verse from 1 Corinthians says about what love is. So if I want that kind of love, I should be able to give it in return.
So after I realized these things about myself, I began to think "where do you go from here?" What lessons do you take into the future?
I've learned that everything happens for a reason. God places you in situations that you may not understand at the time, but once you're out of the situation you can really sit back and reflect on what He was trying to teach you in that moment. That may be after friendships or relationships are gone, but the revelation still comes.
I've learned that nothing will ever be perfect so there's no sense in trying to force it to be. Perfection is non-existent, but waking up everyday and choosing to fight for something rather than against something gives you a better outcome and hopefully allows things to feel perfect, even when they're not.
Your emotions can both help and hurt a relationship. It's okay to tell your significant other how much you love them constantly, especially if they like that kind of thing, but it's not okay to scream at them every time you get angry. That's counterproductive. Learn to manage your emotions.
If you don't want to find something, don't go looking for something. The truth will always come to the light, if there is something that needs to come out. When you start feeding into your emotions and start feeling insecure, you start turning small things into big things and nothing into something. This is not to say ignore blatant acts of dishonesty or things you know are wrong, but just because somebody is smiling at their phone, doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong. If you trust them, then trust them, if you can't you need to re-evaluate the situation.
Be selfless. It's hard to have to worry about how someone else feels, but most of the time if you take into account how they feel, it will make your life 10 times easier. Does it require sacrifice? Yes. But is the payoff worth it in the end? I like to believe so.
Love can be a beautiful thing if you allow it to be.
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