My view of love

" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."

I always wanted to receive a love that I was never giving. I've realized that at times, I can be very selfish. Unintentionally, I make things all about me. And that's not to say that I shouldn't get what I need, but when in a relationship, it's about what both people need and how you find a way to accomplish getting there. When I would get upset I would fail to find productive ways to handle my anger. I would lash out and I've said things that I wish I never said because, 1) they weren't true, 2) they were hurtful. Now I use the beautiful art of silence. People may not understand it, but I'd rather just not say anything at all than to say something that I can't take back, because words, once they are said, are permanent, whether you meant them or not. I kept records or wrongs, I was distrustful, and so on and so forth. The opposite of what the verse from 1 Corinthians says about what love is. So if I want that kind of love, I should be able to give it in return. 

So after I realized these things about myself, I began to think "where do you go from here?" What lessons do you take into the future?

I've learned that everything happens for a reason. God places you in situations that you may not understand at the time, but once you're out of the situation you can really sit back and reflect on what He was trying to teach you in that moment. That may be after friendships or relationships are gone, but the revelation still comes. 

I've learned that nothing will ever be perfect so there's no sense in trying to force it to be. Perfection is non-existent, but waking up everyday and choosing to fight for something rather than against something gives you a better outcome and hopefully allows things to feel perfect, even when they're not. 

Your emotions can both help and hurt a relationship. It's okay to tell your significant other how much you love them constantly, especially if they like that kind of thing, but it's not okay to scream at them every time you get angry. That's counterproductive. Learn to manage your emotions.   

If you don't want to find something, don't go looking for something. The truth will always come to the light, if there is something that needs to come out. When you start feeding into your emotions and start feeling insecure, you start turning small things into big things and nothing into something. This is not to say ignore blatant acts of dishonesty or things you know are wrong, but just because somebody is smiling at their phone, doesn't mean they're doing anything wrong. If you trust them, then trust them, if you can't you need to re-evaluate the situation. 

Be selfless. It's hard to have to worry about how someone else feels, but most of the time if you take into account how they feel, it will make your life 10 times easier. Does it require sacrifice? Yes. But is the payoff worth it in the end? I like to believe so. 

Love can be a beautiful thing if you allow it to be. 

What's for you will never miss you

Too often we get impatient and  end up trying to force things to be what we want them to be rather than waiting on God to give us what He wants us to have. We're so focused on what we can see that we forget the fact that God knows all and He always does what's best for us, even if it hurts. He will take things away, He will change plans, but He always makes a way. He always shows up and gives you more than you could have ever asked for. 

In this past year, God has taken what I thought was everything away from me. It hurt and it was hard, but a year later, He has given me so much more than I could have ever asked for and it's crazy to see how far I've come. My life isn't perfect by any means. But learning to trust God and trust that He will make things right and make things happen when the time is right puts so much peace in my mind and in my heart. 

I'm learning to appreciate the seasons of rest. Sometimes God isn't giving you what you want right away because He needs you to rest and prepare for the season He is about to launch you into. Everybody's seasons are different, and some are longer than others, so just be patient. Focus on what God is asking you to do in this moment because no matter how small it may seem, it's getting you ready for something so much bigger. You have to get through the training before you can get the promotion. Don't rush God's timing. If you force things to happen on your time and you're not ready for it, you'll be sitting there asking God, "How did this happen?". 

Sometimes things in life happen really fast. You might get your dream job right out of college, know you're going to marry the person you're with after a couple of months, get the first house you fall in love with, or anything else. But sometimes things in life don't happen fast. You don't get a job right away, you wonder if you'll ever meet the person you're going to marry, every house you put a bid in for doesn't go through. But if you're trusting God through it all, trust that the timing is right. 

Don't put your trust in what you can see, put your trust in the One who knows all. 

Ecclesiates 3:11 (NIV) "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."

Love, 

JayCherie

Living in the dark

Have you ever noticed that when you're riding an intense roller coaster, watching a scary movie, or going through a haunted house and you get scared, you have a tendency to close your eyes so that you will no longer be able to see whatever it is that is scaring you? It's like closing your eyes takes away that scary thing and somehow calms you. But the thing that is scaring you is still there, you just can't see it anymore. 

Sometimes in life we do this when we are facing adversity, metaphorically speaking of course. We close our eyes as soon as we think something we fear is about to appear. We turn a blind eye to reality. We'd rather sit in darkness just so we don't have to deal with our fears. We want to keep the pretty picture of what once was in our heads. We don't want to see it because if we see it, that means we have to deal with it. Keeping your eyes closed isn't easy either because if you can't see, you can't move forward. But at the time staying in the same place seems much better than dealing with our problems, so we keep our eyes closed, wanting to see the light, but not truly wanting to embrace everything the light will bring; the blessings, but also the obstacles that have to be conquered and the lessons that have to be learned. 

For a while I stayed in the dark. My dreams were better than my reality, so I kept my eyes closed. I thought that eventually it would resolve itself, and the things that I feared would go away, but they didn't. Life doesn't work that way. 

So one day I opened my eyes. I finally saw the light of reality and like I knew, it wasn't the sunshine and rainbows that I wanted it to be, initially. Since I had been in the dark so long, there were a lot of things I had to deal with and a lot of obstacles I had to overcome. Although the light has it's trials, it also has the blessings God promised me. The joy, the peace, the elevation. 

While living with my eyes closed, I developed a relationship with God that I never knew existed. I finally learned how to fully rely on God, rather than myself. Although I was being stubborn and refusing to face reality, He never left me and He never gave up on me. He always provided and even though I couldn't see it at the time, He was strengthening me and growing me so that I could be prepared for everything that He wanted to give to me and I'm forever thankful for that. 

So open your eyes. Your reality is what you make it and once you deal with whatever it is that you're trying to avoid, life will become so much better. I'm not saying it will be easy, because there may be many tears. But growth is painful, so just embrace it because it is so worth it. 

Psalm 126:5-6 (NIV) "Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying the sheaves with them."

Love, 

JayCherie