23.

The year of 23 was much anticipated for me. It's not the same milestone as reaching 18 and finally being "legal", or 21, or 25...but for me I couldn't wait for 23. Twenty-two was a tough year for me. At first I was saying that 22 was a terrible year , but when I was talking to a friend, she said that it wasn't a bad year because a lot of good things came out of it and she was exactly right. A better way to look at it was that 22 was a year of growth, and growth is painful. 

One of the things that I'm thankful to have gained from the past year is learning to love myself unconditionally. I've always thought I loved who I was, but when things got tough over the past year, I started to doubt myself. I had moments where I thought I wasn't good enough. But from that I learned that I am enough and I will always be enough. I don't think it's unusual to feel inadequate at times, most people do, but it's important to be able to pick yourself back up and realize that if God gives you something, He also equips you with the tools necessary to be the best you can be.

If you don't truly love and accept yourself, flaws and all, how can you expect someone else to do the same? If you're awkward, embrace it. If you're weird, be weird. Love yourself without hesitation because there's only one you and God made you who you are for a purpose. Only you can carry out the story that God has written for you and if you're busy trying to be like somebody else, you'll get off track from your destiny.

Looking back over the last year of my life, I can really say that I have learned so much about myself. I'm pretty awesome, if I do say so myself. I'm not perfect by any means, but I don't want to be. My imperfections are part of what makes me who I am. I've found purpose in my flaws. I've realized that my imperfections can be used to help me fulfill my purpose by embracing them and repurposing them. I'm emotional, but now I use my emotions more for empathizing with others and loving on others rather than lashing out at people. I'm really weird and awkward, but I use it to make people laugh. I talk a lot, sometimes too much, but now I try hard to make sure that my words are purposeful. 

I'm learning to be exactly who I am, unapologetically. 

I have grown in ways that I never would have if I hadn't faced the situations I faced, and I love myself more than I ever have. I thank God for 22, but I'm ready for the adventure that 23 has for me. Something is telling me it's going to be the best year yet and I'm ready for it! 

Happy Sunday!

Love, 

JayyCherie

Ps. Thank you for everyone who made my 23rd birthday amazing! It was one of the best ones I've had!

Are you His friend?

Have you ever had a friend who you were always there for no matter what? No matter the time, no matter the circumstance, you were always there when they needed you. But when it came down to you needing them, even for something as simple as needing someone to talk to, they couldn't make the time. You couldn't understand how you could give so much of yourself, but they couldn't do the same in return. It probably made you feel like, "what's the point of this relationship (friendship, significant other, or any other type of relationship)?"

Think about your relationship with God. He is always there when you need Him. 24/7. You wake up in the middle of the night, He's there for you to talk to Him. You need someone to listen to, He's always listening. You have something you need, He always provides. Whenever, wherever, for whatever. But what are you giving him in return? Are you that friend that's always taking, but never giving?

At the beginning of this year, I was at church, and the pastor was talking about the importance of going to church and he said, "We want a full-time God for part-time worship. How can we fight what the devil is brewing if we only give God half of what He gives us?" That is something that has resonated with me ever since because it makes sense. If I'm not constantly seeking God, building up my spirit, and strengthening my walk,  I won't be ready to fight a battle if something were to go wrong.

I never was one to think that you have to go to church every Sunday to love God, and that is true, going to church doesn't prove whether or not you love God, but I've learned that the church was designed so that you can gather around others who worship the same God as you and can help you strengthen your relationship with God. I don't miss church if I can help it. I've learned that in the moments where I really don't "feel" like going is when I need to go to most. It is in that moment that God always sends a message that I need to hear.

But a relationship with God is about more than going to church.Everybody's relationship with God will be different and I'm not here to tell anybody what they should or should not be doing.

God wants to be your friend. He wants to hear from you and hear how things are going even though He already knows. He's always there for you and all He wants is for you to listen to Him and to make time for Him. But not only when you need something. Talk to Him, write to Him, put on some music and worship Him in your house. It doesn't have to be much but He wants all of you and He deserves all of you!

In my own personal experience, I've learned that when I spend time with God, everything feels so much more at peace. It doesn't mean everything is going perfect, but I don't stress as much. In the times that I let my life distract me from spending time with God is when things start to go haywire. I'm irritated by the smallest of things and my spirit is just discontent.

Now you may be reading this and thinking, "I don't do all of that and my life is still blessed" and that may be true. That is because God is a God of grace and mercy. He loves you so He wants you to be happy. But God deserves so much more than you relying on His grace and mercy. So my advice is to spend a little time with God everyday and see the amazing things He does for you!

Happy Sunday!

JayCherie

Emotionally Stable

It's November 1st, and in 18 days I will be 23 years old. And for the last 22 years, or as far back as I can remember, I have been one of the most emotional people ever. For a while I was beginning to think that being emotional was a bad thing. It always caused me so many problems. Everything makes me cry... being mad, sad, happy, annoyed, you name it, if the emotion is strong enough, I'll most likely start crying and I can't seem to stop it... Unfortunate I know.

Over the past few months as I've really started to look at myself and who I am, I've realized that being emotional is not as bad as I had began to believe. Being emotional is part of what makes me who I am, a very loving, compassionate, and empathetic person. I've learned that the problem wasn't being emotional, it was not being able to control the emotions or channel them in the right directions. I would get emotional and expect somebody else to fix it. But the truth is, I'm control of how I feel, nobody else. I can't let things out of my control determine whether or not I'm at peace within. And over the last few months, I've really learned to handle everything in life and keep my peace.

Earlier this week, I had a moment of weakness. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I had an idea of what it was and sure that played a part into why I wasn't at peace, but I knew that it wasn't just that cut and dry. So I prayed and I asked God to restore my peace because it was gone and once He did, I realized what was wrong.

I had allowed my happiness to be controlled by external circumstances. I've learned that every time that happens, I lose control over myself. I lose control of my emotions and my mind, and it's reflected externally... most of the time leading to unnecessary turmoil. Although it was a temporary moment of backsliding, I can't allow that to happen. I've moved past that phase of my life and if I continue to allow it to happen, it may eventually lead me to go back to old habits. Like a recovering alcoholic, they can't just take a sip and act like everything is all good and continue to say "oh, it won't happen again", they must be intentional about keeping control of themselves or it most likely will happen again.

Being stable in your emotions is important because if you're emotionally unstable, it's destructive and counterproductive to God's plan for your life. Trust God and don't allow what's happening around you to disturb your inner peace. If you can't control it, don't stress it!

Love,

JayCherie